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[Sunday
October 7th, 2007
1:03pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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Almost lover |
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Alright so I wrote in here a week ago, i said i'd keep this up but I knew that wouldn't really happen. One week though, not bad. Things are pretty much still the same. This past weekend was probably the best I've had since everything's happened. Friday night went to pauls with everyone, it was fun. Then Saturday did the same thing, and went to a haunted house with some people and back to pauls. I'm only happy and normal when I'm around those people. Everyone else.. blah. I'm still having a hard time with things though, but I know I should just stop thinking so much about it. It's so hard not to though...
The next few months I'm going to be looking at colleges. I hope I get accepted somewhere far away. I want to be done with the nonsense here. Not that it's awful in Germantown, its just not the place for me. I want to go to Stout possibly, 4 hours away, a good distance. I don't want to be surrounded by anyone from high school when I go to college, with the exception of about 6 people, one of them would be lindsey because she's also my other half. My halves basically consist of Lindsey, Seb and then myself obviously, so of course I want her with me. And no, I'm not a lesbian. I actually don't have feelings for anyone right now. I usually always really try hard to make relationships work for me, and I try hard to find someone right for me and I just see why I cared so much about that for so long. Who cares. I just love my friends so much. It's hard to concentrate on anything else right now besides them.
I really need to find a job too, that'd be wonderful. I got fired from my last job...bogus. It's funny how everything just has to get screwed up all at the same time, just to make everything so much easier, you know? Whatever though.
So today I'm doing nothing, except for this, and trying to find a job. Exciting I know. Now I need to go smoke a cigarette and enjoy the weather outside, because I'm sick of laying around my house.
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[Monday
September 24th, 2007
8:00pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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mad world |
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It's been about 2 years since I've done anything with this, and I really thought I'd never write in this again. Senior year startedddd finally, but I really just want it to be over with. Homecoming week is this week, and unfortunatly, I'm not even excited like I usually am. My best friend Seb, who I always used to talk about in this thing, got in a really bad accident last Saturday and died. It's been the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life so far. It's hard going from seeing one person everyday to... never seeing them, and knowing you won't be seeing them anytime soon. His best friend Wayne also died last January. I really hope this doesn't happen anymore. Seb was basically my other half, and I loved him so much. My life right now basically just revolves around me thinking about old times with him, and old conversations, old things we used to do... it's hard but it's all I can really think about. He was my life all throughout highschool. Everything just sucks right now, but I'm not the only one going through this and I'm so happy to have the friends I do to help me out. So more about this dreadful week...I'm going with Fatass (matt nelson) because he's basically my brother, and I love him. That's about the only good part of this week. I doubt I'll be able to keep this thing up, I just had a really big urge to write in it after I went through my old entries and read through all the comments I got from Seb and such. Yes, I spent almost an entire morning / afternoon reading his old entries, and mine, just because that kind of thing makes me happy. Anyways, my house is literally on fire right now and I'm about to die so I'll try and write in this more often, not that anyone reads it, but it feels good being able to let things out somewhere.
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[Wednesday
March 23rd, 2005
8:44pm] |
[ 1 ] Comment.
/ / / / / / / / /
[ 2 ] Added.
/ / / / / / / /
[ 3 ] Friends.
/ / / / /
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[Tuesday
March 15th, 2005
7:01pm] |
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I change my mind about the friends only journal.
But, I need to say this
because this is really getting on my nerves.
1. This is a journal.
aka - I share my thoughts, feelings, and stuff I did throughout the weekend/day. whatever. I can post whatever the hell I want in here. It isn't up to anyone but ME what I want in here.
2. I didn't ask for your opinion.
Why do I want people to comment? I want people to comment if I ASK for their opinion on something. Or if a friend just randomly wants to say something.
If you're anonymous, and you're saying shit, what's the point? You're not getting your point spread across if you're not even typing your name. It means nothing if it's just an anonymous comment. A fucking alien could have wrote it.
3. My journal isn't here for you to express your thoughts for/against me.
If you have a problem with me, and you want to handle it in a mature way, you come up to me, and you tell it to my face. Don't go writing it in my journal. Who do you think you are? Do you think you're cool? Because you're not. You don't even have a fucking name. Point being - You want to talk shit, go ahead, but if you have a problem with me- tell it to me, not my journal. Quite frankly, my journal doesn't give a shit what you think, I DO. So talk to ME.
I just don't understand why you're calling me the immature one, when I'm just sticking up for me and my friends. And you're the ones sitting there commenting to me without your name. If you really cared and want to get your point across to me, and you don't care what I think because you obviously hate me hardcore, just tell me your name. Can't be that hard. And if it is, don't even fucking comment. How about that.
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[Sunday
March 13th, 2005
7:56pm] |
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its not a mullet.
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[Sunday
March 13th, 2005
4:22pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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chingy hahahahaha |
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Yesterday was awful.
lindsey and I visited mario and kim at mcdonalds. then back to her house.
and litereally sat online all night long.
and ate taco bell.
and watched Thirteen. numerous times.
Brandon came over later
and we shot him for talking about Taste of Chaos........
but, March 15h--------Champaign,Illinois------we're thurr.
Today went to Target and spent 90 dollars on shit.
our entire school was there, inculding our one-toothed-janitors
Then her dad went somewhere. so we jammed to BYE BYE BYE in the car
and peopople were staring at us
and we flicked them off
SKEET SOOO MUCHHH THEY CALL HER BILLLYYY OCEAAANNN.
tonight's gonna be hella fun playaz
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[Friday
March 11th, 2005
9:13pm] |
My dad is marrying the ugliest bitch alive in 2 months.
i hate her.
I guess, once again, we can't go to Taste of Chaos.
I LIKE HOW MY LIFE KEEPS GETTING MORE AND MORE COMPLICATED FUCLJASDLJALKFJALSKDMLASKJL!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Thursday
March 10th, 2005
1:08pm] |
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mood |
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HEADACHE> OMFG |
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hello. how lovely. 9th hour comp-use computers. and 10th hour study hall- computers. i love computers. i'm sick. according to my math class i am loud and obnoxious. and annoying. sitting next to steph. and i hear everyone behind me all like AHEW92kljlHLKFDJALKDS - that is quoted by them, yes. that is what they said. livejounral is terribly boring nowdays. myspace is the place to be, yo. duh. 2 days bia.
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[Tuesday
March 8th, 2005
3:34pm] |
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I liked today.
we played legos in comp.
fucking amazing.
and tony came back and i was like WoAHh tony
I'm extremely upset.
So I guess I'm not going to Taste of Chaos with the people I was supposed to go with....
yeah. thanks? fucking ridiculous.
.. . .....But, I'm still going. YAY FOR THAT :D &&& BACKSTAGE PASSES. HOLY FCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i might not die tonight!!!!!!
i need a hug.
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[Monday
March 7th, 2005
8:37pm] |
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grumpy |
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music |
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bullfighters |
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hi. i don't care about today. except i went to
kimmy darlings with kellie <3 andddd
we went tanning!!!!!!!
went to mcdonalds and got a 3dollarmeal and like 29374923 things dude!!!!!!
watched thirteen!!!!!!!!
US CELLUARL.
hahahahah.
justin picked us up & we went to mary booothhhs? hahah and target
and got yelled at. bought a size like,DD bra for kiMMee
and fruit by the foot<3.
I ALMOST GOT GLASS IN MY EYEEE HAHAHAHAH
"Sex in spankies."
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Sunday
March 6th, 2005
8:23pm] |
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mood |
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failure. |
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music |
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anberlin |
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Saturday night consisted of:
Lindsey-Lauren-Gus-Seb.
hiding in the closet with a candle.
sub sandwiches.
cookie dough fights.
Singing songs.
Crawling through windows?
"CLOCKS DONT JUST, FALL DOWN"
yikes.
Today = [ cooking ]...[ photography ]...[ children, following us down the streettt..]...[ Lindsey && Tami laying on Lower Woodland drive, laughing as the 8 year old boy rides by on his bicycle..............wearing a muscle shirt]...[ Oh. and. She hates me. She ran away from me.]
Soccer party. Why even call it a 'party?' The entire time I was trying to piss Alli off because I hate her and she's an ugly whore. Whore? No. Ugly? Yes. Dani and I are rather clumsy when it comes to cups.
hmpf. Today was grand.
Up until now.
You made me feel like shit.
ALthough, I already should. And do.
I'm sorry we met too.
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[Saturday
March 5th, 2005
11:41am] |
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mood |
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dirty |
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the feel good drag - anberlin |
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went to the movies with andrea and natalie.
we were like, eating by ourselves in the lobby? wtf
then lots of people came
saw CURSED
me and kim walked out after "drop down and get ya eagle on" and the wolf flicked off the ugly alien girl.
Then we made new friends <3.
me,natalie and andrea went back to andreas
played dress up!!!!!!!! watched degrassi!!!!!!!!!!
( we're so lame. )
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[Friday
March 4th, 2005
1:51pm] |
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mood |
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disgusted |
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music |
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gjladskfjaNOTHIGNG |
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Yay for 10th hour study hall.
Hmpf. today was weird.&& I'm really sorry.It's always a new person that hates me every week..............
on a lighter note,
tonight should be hella funnnn
//...
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..
andys drawings at lunch omffgggg.hahahahahahaha.
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[Thursday
March 3rd, 2005
8:52pm] |
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to my dear friend Seb,
you told me to make this because I made one for my dearest pal Kellie.
Well Seb, I love you also. So I shall make you one.
1.Seb eats my ear.
2.Seb is like, the only person I talk to online for like 2934792 hours.
3.Seb always begs for my ho ho's.
4.Seb usually hurts me as much as possible.
5.I miss Seb in French.and History.and lunch.boo. (refer to #10)
6.Seb calls ME nigga.
7.Seb hates me SO much.
8.Seb = FB#1
9.Seb makes me laugh like, really really hard.
10.Seb cracks up at lunch when he tells stories of Mario's dad in a thong.
11.Seb makes racial comments more than anyone I know.
12.Seb beat me up after school once.
13.Seb's picking Tami up every night this summer.
14.Seb agrees with things that Tami says: SxXeXxB: nigger jesse owens is more important
fatally youurrs: jesse owens is a nigger and he runs and hes dead
fatally youurrs: i could care less
SxXeXxB: that statement is 100% true
15.Seb corrects Tami: SxXeXxB: besides the fact that you said "he runs" because thats like present tense..you said he runs..and hes dead
16.Seb is like, my pal
17.Seb's french name is Christian
18.Seb and Tami cracked up one time about Aldi's......
19.I've started every sentence in this with SEB all except for 2 times.
20.Seb fell in a garbage can while trying to turn the lights off.
21.Seb is smarter than Tami.
22.I know Seb's actual name.
and 23. I can tlak to Seb about anything.
</p> OH AND 24. SEB PEES IN MY PUMPKIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Seb you are amazingngnglglkjlyyyy cool x 237429. and this entry is just for you. SPECIAL. YAY! I hope you are happy because this took me a total of 10 minutes, and this is my third entry today. and people probably think I'm some nut writing 239473729 page entries about my friends. But you are special like woah, so 'tis alright.
P.S ~ You're awesome and I love yaaaaa
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[Thursday
March 3rd, 2005
5:03pm] |
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I LOVE KELLIE BARTEL.
why?why why? W
1.ROCK IT ~ DONT STOP IT [& our other dances ]
2."TOM!"
3.I spent days, stupid......
4."First of all. What the hell? Second of all. WHAT THE HELL!"
5.JA/AJ
6."what, did you take a shower?!"
7.[twitching] "I LIKE THAT SHIRT!"
8.CONCEALER. it's even funnier when we try to spell that. hmmm....
9.ISAIAH!
10."Who's Britney Spears?".."I DIDNT KNOW. GOSH"
11.i love playing in the snow.
12.BIG MAC?
13.dying my hair.........................
14.POKI-DIGI!!!
15."WONDER WHERE THE YELLOW WENT? *PEPSIDENT*PEPSIDENT*"
16.let's rewind 1..2..3..4 239749324 TIMES!
17.lets never attempt to make ramen noodles in your kitchen EVER again..
18.peeing our pants on the stairs?
19.IF I WAS A RICHHH GIRLLLL
that's not even an inside joke. i just love that song.
20.JOHN FALLING OUT OF HIS CHAIR. we will NEVER FORGET THAT.
21.too much expression when you talk?
22.[blinking eyes &&& twitching] "uhhh, 1975" WTF
23."Where is she?" .... "Probably going to a Godsmack concert...."
24.HOLLER AT CHUR BOYYYYYYYYY
25.we have a lot of experiences with falling out of chairs, spitting out food, falling to the ground laughing, tripping, and many more.
Kellie I love you so muchhhhhhhhh. Youre uhDOREABLE! &&& youre my bfffff.......IIILOIOOVEEEYOUUUUu
we're supposed to be working on history
the project about "nigga's that do some shit"
hah ILY.
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[Thursday
March 3rd, 2005
12:55pm] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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music |
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keyboarddss going clilckckckclicclkc |
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hello.
I am in comp.
BoRrRReEdD
let me tell you of my day:
hmpf. nothing happened.
as usual.
"can i hit you as hard as i can in the face?"........."um, can we hit YOU as hard as we can in the face?"
hahhahaha.
i have fun in gym.
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[Wednesday
March 2nd, 2005
9:01pm] |
I have blue eyes.
I wish they were brown.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.......
point is - WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!
we're amazing. i was happy. like an hour ago.
........back to feeling lonely and confused.....
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[Wednesday
March 2nd, 2005
3:28pm] |
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music |
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blue and yellow - the used |
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each day gets more and more like the last day...........................
everyone is leaving me for spring break.
WTF.
history class is fun.
"SOUP? SOUP?"
yeahhhhhhhhhh dawg.
HAPPY FUCKINGGNGDNG BIRTHDAY KIM MUTLERER!!!!!!!
I've been doing a lot of thinking, and.......
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desolatekidd's journal